"Thomas Reflecting"  Written By: Will Bucknall, Natalie Caballero, Rachel Chao, & Katherine Corley; Edited By: Rebecca Chancellor; Monologue of Thomas delivered by: Ronan Melomo

Scriptures: John 20:19-31 and Acts 5:27-32, 41-42

RACHEL:

Throughout the Bible, we see how fear consumes people. We see Jonah run away from Ninevah, we see King Herod send out the wise men to find the so-called “King" when Jesus was born because Herod was afraid of losing power, we see Peter sink because he saw the gray, crashing waters below him, and we see Peter again deny that he knew Jesus in fear of his life.

And we don’t just see examples of fear in the Bible, either. We feel fear daily; when we were younger because mommy was leaving us in kindergarten, because there was a monster under the bed, because you gave that person a special Valentine, and they haven’t given you anything. Teenagers experience fear when they don’t think they did well on a test, when they feel something bad about to happen with a friend, when the acceptance letter hasn’t come yet. Adults experience fear when there’s a possibility of losing their job, when big change is on the horizon, when the doctor shares news you don’t want to hear. And we all fear losing loved ones.

Out of curiosity, I went onto Facebook, a social networking site, to see what others had to say about fear. I searched “I’m afraid of...” and found 294 groups based purely on fear. “I’m afraid of losing you” has 3,183 members. “I’m afraid of clowns because of Stephen King” has almost 2,000 members. “I’m afraid of people seeing me through my web cam, even when it’s off” has 254, 782 members. Fear is everywhere, and is something we ALL have.

            There are small fears we can grow out of, like the monster under the bed. But the fear that the disciples had on that Easter evening was paralyzing: that bottom-of-your-stomach fear that makes you breathe quicker and feel hopeless. The apostles felt alone, terrified to think what might happen next, afraid to do anything.   And then Jesus comes and stands among them and says, “Peace be with you.”  Wow.  Jesus appeared to the disciples to help comfort them, to replace their fear with his peace.  Obviously, Jesus can’t make a personal appearance to me right before a biology test to help soothe me. So, how else can I overcome that seemingly-impossible fear?  

            As many of you know, on February 18th of this year, a man crashed a small plane into the IRS building on Research Boulevard. My father works for a software designing company across the parking lot, literally three hundred yards away. I learned about the crash at 10:45 while I was in school, and I started having a small panic attack at 10:46. I saw the fire and smoke on the television that was in the girl’s locker room, I SAW the firefighters and FBI come to try and calm people down, I saw the people with burns being carried away by ambulances. Surely, I thought, my father was in the hospital. Surely, he’s being carried away on a stretcher. Surely, I’ll get called into the main office, having the principal tell me that something has happened. How could he be okay? At 12:14, I came into my next class, still shaking with my heart racing. I told John, my boyfriend, about the crash. “It was right next to my dad’s office!” I was hysterical.

            “Right next to his building,” he said calmly, looking at me.

            “I bet he’s in the hospital. Oh my gosh, what am I going to do?!”

            “It was right next to his office,” he said again.

“John, I SAW the building! I SAW all the police officers and FBI people! I SAW the flames!”

            “You said it was right next to his office. Next to. It wasn’t his building.”

            And the conversation went like that for another few minutes. Me, trying not to completely break down while explaining how afraid I was, and him repeating “Right NEXT to.”

            Of course John was right. I got the call from my dad at 1:32 that everything was fine, and he’d see me when he got home. “It was right next to our building,” my dad said.

            Like the disciples, I was so consumed with fear, I couldn’t hear what John was saying.  But John was saying exactly what I needed to hear, what I needed to know.  “Peace be with you,” Jesus said.  The disciples rejoiced when they recognized Jesus, but there was probably still some panic. I’m sure the apostles were thinking, “Wait, I SAW his body on the cross! I SAW him taking his last breath!” Jesus says again, “Peace be with you.”  And he says it again later in this passage: “Peace be with you.” Why didn’t they calm down and listen? Clearly this was not an ordinary event—Jesus coming back to life after being beaten and hung on a cross, after dying and being buried. With the recognition of Jesus in their presence again, the disciples began to find joy and peace.  The disciples overcame fear when they knew Jesus overcame death.

            Having that small amount of solid faith can come THROUGH fear.  Jesus appears to the disciples, confronting their fear with peace.  He comforts them by saying “Peace be with you.” This was a traditional greeting at the time, but at the moment, peace was EXACTLY what the disciples needed. “Peace be with you” had, just like so many other things that Jesus said, a double meaning. In that moment, it was not just a ‘hello.’ It was a ‘let everything that you’ve been feeling for the past few days go, and restore your faith in me. I am here with you.  Death has not destroyed me and it will not destroy you.’

NATALIE:

No, death did not destroy Jesus, but for Thomas—who was not with the disciples on that Easter evening—the idea that Jesus was alive and well was difficult to understand.  The other disciples, his friends, told Thomas that they had seen the Lord. But because Thomas had not seen Jesus himself, he would not believe unless he saw the mark of the nails and touched his side.  Because of this, Thomas has been dubbed, “Doubting Thomas.”  Each of us at some point has heard the phrase: “Don’t be a Doubting Thomas.” And, most of us have been given this advice because doubting is seen as bad. One might think that Jesus would be upset with us for doubting, but maybe there’s more to this story and more to Thomas than simply doubt…
 

Thomas Reflecting—Easter Script 2

[A monologue from: Stages on the Way: Worship Resources for Lent, Holy Week, and Easter, Iona Community: Wild Goose Worship Group, GIA Publications: Chicago, 2000.]

 “I expected him to scold me, not—as you might think—for doubting.  We had all doubted, at different times, and he was never angry.  Indeed, he doubted himself, sometimes, or if he didn’t, he certainly understood how it felt, because he would sing the Psalms of doubt with great fervor.  Doubt wasn’t an enemy to him.  He could stand us doubting.  It was indifference he couldn’t stand: indifference and apathy.  (Pause)

I expected him to scold me perhaps for making conditions.  I did do that and I won’t deny it.  “If only I see this and do that… then I’ll believe.”  What a fool, thinking I could make conditions with God, but he didn’t take me to task.  He saw that I was happy because I had seen and he said that they were also happy who believed without making conditions, without saying, “if only” or “unless.”  (Pause)

I expected him to scold me because I wasn’t there when he came.  The others were present, I was absent.  It wasn’t their fault or his fault.  It was mine.  I had—for whatever reason—decided that it was all finished.  He came back to say it was all beginning.  (Pause)

I expected him to scold me.  But he didn’t.  He gave me his hand, and, more than that, he gave me his peace.”

When we look back at the passage, we realize that Thomas was not there when Jesus came back from the dead, showed the disciples his scars, and spoke to them, saying: “Peace be with you.” Thomas was not with them. He was off away from the others, completely left out of Jesus’ visit.  So is it reasonable for Thomas to question the reality of Jesus’ appearance?  I know I would have reacted a lot like him if I were in his shoes; I too would have doubted their claims of Jesus coming back from the dead. Like him, I would have felt left out.

 WILL:

Thomas was not able to trust in his community of disciples.  Similarly, the high council in Jerusalem refused to trust in the message brought by Peter and John; the council did not want them to spread the word of Jesus to the community of Jerusalem, for fear that it could cause them to lose their power. 

As humans, we are often worried about being one upped by the other, constantly fearful that we are going to be tricked into some scam that will make us look ignorant or stupid.  Thomas didn’t want to look ignorant or stupid; “I will not believe…”he said.  The high priest didn’t want anyone else to have greater authority and certainly didn’t want to be publicly blamed for Jesus’ death.  This type of distrust comes from an isolationist society—much like the one we live in today.  In our society, separation from others is already heightened by technology; this can keep us from participating in a vibrant and fully diverse community.  And the result of isolation in our society has led many Christians to practice their faith without the support of a church community.  This might seem reasonable at first—that not all peoples' faith journeys should be confined to a church—but we must remember that Jesus comes to us in community.  Jesus came and stood among the disciples, bringing his peace and sharing the Holy Spirit, but for whatever reason, Thomas was not there with his community.   

To fully embrace Jesus, we must participate in all aspects of our community, and we cannot tackle our faith journeys in complete solitude.  Regardless of how scared we might be, regardless of how hopeless things might seem, regardless of how distracted we might be, we need each other.  This is why being a part of a church is so important; we reach out and trust each other in a way that people trying to travel alone on their faith journey cannot understand.  For if we did not belong to this community of faith, we would be missing some crucial ingredient that makes us fundamentally Christian, and we would become like Thomas—indifferent, apathetic, making conditions for God.  We would not have a faith community to help us wrestle with our doubt and work through our fears.  We would not have a faith community to give us courage to rejoice in the good news and share it with others.  And, sometimes, in community with our brothers and sisters in Christ, we receive what we don’t expect: peace… grace… belief in miracles.

 NATALIE:

Jesus said, “Do not doubt but believe.”  Jesus wants Thomas to believe.  He wants Thomas to be a part of the community, to feel the joy that comes with knowing that Jesus really is alive again.  But still, we might say… doubt seems reasonable. If I can’t see it, smell it, touch it, hear it, or taste it… then is it really there?

Each Sunday here at UPC, an offering plate is passed around, and we put money in it; a basket is pushed down the aisle, and we put food in it.  These offerings are collected to benefit many ministries of the church, including the Micah 6 Food Pantry—which is a great service to the community, or at least that is what we have heard. Most of us know about the pantry because it takes place here—in our own church—but only a fraction of us have actually volunteered on a Thursday evening or Saturday morning.  Many of the volunteers are not from our church. So, I know that not all you have actually seen it in action. Until a few weeks ago when our youth group was scheduled to help, I had never seen it in action. 

The operation was huge. It took about forty people to run the entire thing: safety monitors out in the street, by the doors and in the halls; volunteers in the pantry, in the waiting room, in the child care center, and in the bagging line; and translators that helped at the check-in. I would never have imagined it like that. As people began to wait inside our church, a different smell—the smell after rain and the must of tar—filled the halls. The youth group went down to the lower level, where the pantry takes place to get to work. Many volunteers from other Micah 6 churches and different college sororities and fraternities lined up against the walls.

Byron, a youth advisor, and I were quickly assigned to the bagging line. A pile of grocery bags that reached right above my shoulder waited on a table. We used these bags to securely and quickly package the food that all of the clients had picked out for the next few weeks.   Soon after setting up camp at the second station, Byron and I were flooded with dozens of clients. Each of the clients had different preferences for the way of bagging the food, and each person had different stories to tell.

Somehow, every Sunday I had trusted that our church would, without a doubt, share the money that I put into the offering plate and use the food that my family gives for the pantry.  I believed, as many of you do, that the pantry is not only real, but that it is a visible sign of God’s presence among us.  As a church community, we have a tendency to trust each other.  We are on this journey together, and we trust that God’s Spirit is among us.  We trust that the Spirit is made visible to us in our worship, in our classrooms, in our fellowship, and in our relationships with each other.  Blessed are we, those who have not seen him and yet have come to believe.

KATHERINE:

And we have come to believe through the work of the early apostles.  Empowered by Christ’s gift of the Holy Spirit, these apostles found the courage to remain stubbornly loyal to their faith, even when threatened by the council. It is not clear in the passages exactly which of the disciples are present in each scene. Most likely, some of the 12 were among the apostles at the meeting of the council, but there were others there as well. Some of the apostles present had seen the risen Christ and therefore believed what they proclaimed because they had personally witnessed the power of God in Jesus’ resurrection. Others, however, did not see the risen Christ themselves, but had to have faith in the truth of Easter through the reports of others and the presence of the Holy Spirit. These apostles believed without seeing, and Thomas’s doubt teaches us that believing without seeing is a difficult task.

Like these early apostles, we too can grow in faith and continue on our journey without seeing radical miracles. God is present even in the ordinary events of our daily lives: keeping us safe while we drive to school, calming our hearts through prayer or the words of a friend, reminding us to be joyful through the laughter of a child, and reminding us of God’s presence through the sight of blue bonnets.

John most likely included Jesus’ words, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe,” to encourage Christians like us. In fact, John specifically states in his gospel that his purpose for writing was both to evangelize and to strengthen the faith of believers. We, therefore, are included in John’s intended audience. We continue our journeys of faith by studying Scripture—learning from the accounts of those who had known Jesus—and through prayer.

The Holy Spirit is always with us—guiding, nurturing, healing, empowering, and teaching us. Jesus blessed His disciples with the Holy Spirit to strengthen their faith and to reassure them of His continuing presence with each of them, and that same Spirit resides among and within us. We are also Christ’s apostles. The majority of us will never be confronted with extreme situations as the early apostles were—we certainly will not face crucifixion!—but we can still remain loyal to the commands of Christ. The confession A Brief Statement of Faith proclaims that “in a broken and fearful world, the Holy Spirit gives us courage to pray without ceasing [and] to witness among all peoples to Christ as Lord and Savior” (65-68). With the confidence that God has given us this Spirit, we can find the courage to proclaim what we believe through our words and actions, just as the early apostles remained loyal to the Gospel.

Because we are human, we may still have fear of rejection or judgment by others, but we must remember that God and God’s peace are greater than our fears. Christ Himself prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane that God would “let this cup pass” from him, yet he was also able to say “your will be done.”  Christ is an example to us of what it looks like to rely completely on God’s Spirit for strength and courage. When we seek to do His will, we do so with the confidence that God can overcome everything that frightens us, even death itself. The apostles knew that their preaching would bring glory to God, and therefore the threats of men meant nothing in the face of their God-given mission to proclaim Christ, crucified and risen.

May we have the courage to do the same. Amen.